Many believes that personality changes. But really, it’s not our personality that changes. This is something I learned in Personality Psyc (yes I paid attention). The fact that, surprisingly, our personality remain steady throughout our entire life. So what really makes us think that “people change”? What really changed is not the person, but it’s their needs, and perhaps their principles.

As I was talking to a couple of my friends, we discussed simple issues of when we were young. How we always thought of tattoos and ear piercings are taboo. How we (at least I) always thought that the color pink is a color worth despising. Guess what, I have grown to love the color pink and piercings as well loving the idea of a tattoo. And so did my friends.

That’s the simple portrait of change that we go through in our life: our change of perception or viewpoint towards the issues around our environment.

I remember how I think when I was 13, or 14 and 15… Now that I’m looking back at myself back then, how I always thought that I’m “mature” but really I’m not. I was just another egoistic-self-absorbed teenager who happens to be hit with life’s tiny little troubles. And I thought I was special. Huh. I’ve grown to understand that every family has their own dark spots and every life has their own bitterness. And I shouldn’t asked for sympathy.

Then we come to relationships and how we change throughout our entire life. I would say that a good-working relationship is one which both partners are able to grow and change alongside each other. Yes, when I said “change,” it certainly means our needs and principles. Also to grow and mature into adulthood and be able to support each other when both are changing rapidly.

It may sound easy, but it really isn’t. Change is one the most common reason for relationships to end (according to my own experience, yes I am making a weak inductive argument here). I see people around me break up because they are unable to provide or receive their needs. We mistakenly use the common term “he/she simply changed, we’re not quite fit with each other anymore” when really nobody changed, but their needs changed.

As you can see, as we grow older and maturer, we discover new things in our life and we will “bloom” into one step a better person each time. We learn new things everyday – this part is true, but we also grow each time we learn something new. If you are able to withstand alongside your partner(s) (friends, romance, family, etc.)  while you constantly change then your relationship can be concluded as strong.

I would say that this is a good time to examine ourselves and how much our needs have changed in the past and how our perception/viewpoints grew. The word “wise” would be a better fit here; as we discover new things, we grow wiser. Also examine those around you and cherish those who’ve been with your for a long time. Your parents included (your needs have changed and so did theirs), are your relationship strong? Have you adapted? Or have you simply rejected the other partner’s change in perspective/needs/principles and leave them?
Cheers.