Perhaps it is human nature to always judge on other people. I do it too, just not all the time. I do admit that when introduced to someone, I will judge the person from their first impression. However, from learning from elders and with experience, I learned that judging could be different, and there are limits to how far you judge and how you judge someone.

One of the main common judge category is whether or not a person comes off as “likable and friendly.” Funny thing is, this is a very vague and dangerous way of judging someone. Throughout my life, I’ve met people who appears as friendly and in fact, wanting to be friends with me and being there for me. I guess the term “friends” could be different from person to person. As you get to know a person, you will find the deep down secrets and true intentions that they have, and often, it doesn’t sound to pretty.

Then, a person could also appear as “cold and submissive” yet their actual personality and intention could really match that of yours to a point that you can’t keep away from each other. This is also pretty common, I guess. Many have said that I give the first impression of a really snobby girl who over-analyze those around me and apparently I’m not very friendly neither. I guess I am trying to change that slowly and in fact I have changed in several areas

My general motto is that everyone is different in their own ways. A person could be very child-like, very loud and short-tempered, very cold, very happy, and so on for their own reasons. I did not learn this quickly because I seem to always judge people simply from their appearance (what personality they are presenting), without having a neutral mind.

Keeping a neutral mind is not easy. I seem to have to tell myself to be patient, and to not be biased in judging people. I guess this comes with certain experience as well, which I will have to gain more in the future. I always keep a big picture, of different motives, the different environment and people that surrounds them and myself. In other words, I simply try to understand. In time when I don’t, I leave it be. Sometimes avoiding certainly people is the best way to avoid myself to jump into cruel, harsh and biased judgments.

So I guess I could judge people, but I would call it “smart judging.” To judge those around me with accordance to their motives and background and by keeping a neutral way of thinking – while being critical as well. It takes a lot for me to say that I dislike a person, I would call it “mis-match” but not dislike. The word “hate” is one I rarely use. Perhaps only once. Just once.

… Just a thought, I feel like writing this down before I let it roll off my mind.